Do some research and come back in three days…

tips for marriage

Chiquita 1 is 9 years old and single

Chiquita 2 is 12 and currently single as well. But going into 7th grade it will probably change.

“My friends and I are hoping to stay out of that (dating) until 8th or 9th grade because boys are weird. I think boys are weird because they are mostly immature and they think that they are cool when really they are doing something stupid. I think they become mature when they graduate college. Right now it would be more like a friendship vs. a romance. I think marriage is more comfort. Like if, if someone is feeling bad, the person they are married to will help them out and they are always there for them if they mess up. It’s not like the other person will be mad at them.”

“I think the person that I marry will always be there for me. I think you have to be kind and helpful. I think for a marriage to work it has to have trust and attitude. I have to be completely 100% sure. I think attitude is something important… because having a bad attitude can upset everyone, and you start fighting and then it can go downhill. I think I do want to get married some day because I don’t want to be alone all the time. Friends are good to have but you need someone in your life that is always there. You need to have someone that you can put your heart and soul into.”

Chiquita 1 wants to get married some day. Chiquita 2 wants to have someone that she can rely on, that she can help them and they can help her.

“Some characteristics that I would like in a mate are care because if you have someone that doesn’t care, it will be hard. It’s hard to put up with some classmates that don’t care. The friends that care are normally the nicer people, the ones that get better grades, and the ones that don’t care are mean. There’s a kid that doesn’t care at all and he is a couple of my classes so he insults religions. He doesn’t care about people that don’t think like him. I want someone that is not disrespectful.

My parents kind of balance each other out. My step mom is strict, on top of our grades and our dad balances out in that when I´m doing the dishes he will help me with a couple of them. They both help me with my homework, but when my step mom isn’t there he helps more. “

These ladies have divorced parents, and they spend equal amounts of time in each of the houses. “I like that arrangement’” says Chiquita 2.

I like it because the houses have totally different things. One has two cats and the other have two stories. We found a cat peeing in the toilet. We have the video, she jumped on the toilet, peed and left.

Arguing in a relationship is good because if it perfect all the time, it’s a little awkward. You want to have different opinions but not to the point were you don’t want to look at that person for a week.

If you don’t want to look at them for a week, after three days I couldn’t stand it. Because I don’t want to be alone. I would tell them I am sorry.

“If it was a serious argument I would work it like, ok we are obviously fighting. Lets take our opinions, do some research and come back in three days. If its opinions, I would say this is my opinion this is yours, we have a free country.

If arguments can’t be solved, spend time apart, let the other person get over it. While we were spending time away I would research. If its opinions, I would say that it is fine that you have your opinion and I have mine.”

“I would make sure that I was 100% positive before I got married, but if we were arguing about something stupid I wouldn’t think twice about divorce.

If there’s something that bothers me for months that I couldn’t stand them I would probably think about it. But it would have to bother me for a long time. Because sometimes people just need some time.

Before picking a partner, I would check their background history. Yea. I would check their background history and make sure they are vaccinated. In the background I would check criminal history to see if there is any, criminal records, like past friends, stuff like that.

I would tell them make sure they do a couple things, most things that you are ok with and NO things that you are not ok with.

I would make sure to tell my friends to do a background and vaccination.

Plans of the future are important. If one person wants to have kids and the other doesn’t that could cause arguments.”

Note: All interviews shared in this website are part of the project THE MARRIAGE STORY COLLECTOR by Daniela Antelo and all of the people that have been interviewed are and will be held anonymous. 

Read more recent interviews by The Marriage Story Collector

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